Ice Age

If it were possible, I'd begin working on a weather machine to climate control the immediate area. I'm so sick of this cold snap. I'm shaking my fist at Mother Nature. Grr...

...I suppose it could be done with some sort of atmospheric rocket. The rocket could then be used to launch a satellite which filters particles out of the surrounding air in order to slow precipitate formation. This would allow more sunlight to pass through and raise the overall temperature of the ground below. Simultaneously, the filtration dispersion feature would heat up the earth by encapsulating heat being the particle shield. However I could result in a second ice age...

That was a bad movie,

-The Falcon

A day wasted

I just spent the last four hours on the phone arguing with Italian police officers about the contents of a certain package that still hasn't arrived. Apparently the customs officers got all bent out of shape when they heard a ticking sound and there was some powdery residue. I don't see what the big deal is, I mean that was a valuable experiment in ant farm germination. And now they won't even send it back! My ants could be building one of the fastest super colonies in the western world, but I'll never know about it now!

I mean, it's the twenty-first century, shouldn't my associate researcher be able to send my results across the Atlantic? It's not like tankers and steamboats are the only means of travel. I am at a loss for words.

Bemused

-The Falcon

The Monumentary

Some of my followers seem to be sucked into this whole "reality tv" kick that's been popular in media for the last several years. Prompting them to request a more live view of the life of the Falcon. But rather than have some cocky host follow me around, I figured I'd make my own documentary about my life. However, documentary doesn't carry the same gravity as this project. It's not a documentary, it's a monumentary.


I've begun acquiring some camera gear and scouting experiments that my followers can handle live footage of. Provided I don't melt the camera, this could be a very educational undertaking. I plan on making a list of tutorial and DIY builds that will help you enrich your life.


You deserve to know

-The Falcon

Proposition #459

It occured to me the other day as I sat through another monotonous chicken nugget commercial in attempts to calibrate the satellite uplink to the main monitor that Americans are rather self indulgent when it comes to their diets. Therefore, those who enjoy chicken, or "chicken" as the case may be, pressed into nugget shapes or resembling "fingers," must regularly devote funds to said foods. If one were an intelligent being, harnessing the capitalist system of America, one could, as the kids say, make significant "bank".


Which brings me to Proposition #459: Boneless Chickens.


"Wha.. Boneless Chicken? Falcon, you're a coot." No, it hasn't already been invented. Allow me to explain. Between the coop and the drive-thru there is a significant amount of middlemen. The farmer, the driver, the butcher, the processor, and the distributor and tons of other people who don't need the money. I propose to eliminate the noise by breeding chickens without bones. Rather than having tons of bones discarded, why not breed chickens that have 99% meat. That way you can just kill them and cook them.


I'm not entirely sure about how to produce this race of mush birds, but I feel that tampering with the pituitary gland may yield results. If I can downgrade the chicken to produce rapid amounts of meat, without tumorous overgrowth, it would put an end to the current system of chicken production. Why waste the life of a chicken? There's all that brutality involved and the blood and the guts. I propose breeding a less life chicken, a chicken that has no real feeling but only grows. Only minimal organ function and cellular respiration will be necessary.


These blobular bird ball will be less like butchering chickens and more like harvesting cabbage. Ultimately, it will be a very lucrative business endeavor.


Innovating,

-The Falcon

Beta Testing

Systems check is finally complete. It seems most of the bugs have been worked out of the defense grid. The backup generators are running smoothly, and the software seems to be behaving as of late. The solar panels could still use some revamping as the overall cycling pattern misses about 25% of the sun in the mid-morning, but that's what beta testing is for. 


I found my screwdriver finally. Unfortunately it was sealed behind that blasted piece of drywall I put up earlier. Somehow in the fuss it seems I left it back there. If it hadn't been for the x-ray radiation testing, I would have never known where to look. However, it also means I need some more lead paneling because the rays shouldn't have permeated as far as the galley. But once the facility is fully operational the experiments will begin with more frequency.  

Hopeful


-The Falcon

Build Complete

After an arduous and secretive three weeks, the new lab has finally been completed. The komodo dragons seem to be adapting well to their new cages. Overall, things are on the upswing. The downside is that the underground hangar is a bit smaller than it looked on the initial blueprints, probably meaning that the ex-Soviet helibird will have to go. It's not as practical nowadays (slight rotar damage and pitches to left, check out on eBay if interested). I still have to calibrate the elevator shaft a bit more, the motor is little jerky. Perhaps I'll install a fireman style pole for more efficient travel.


I must say that overall I'm very pleased with the new facility. The secretive underground bunkerlike nature will be ideal for conducting the more involved experiments, while still avoiding the clostrophobic, meerkat nature of my past domicile. I wish the giant pistons would run faster because the hangar doors are sluggish at the moment, meaning an emergency re-entry could be problematic. I'll probably try to soup those bad boys up. That's what I get for ordering aftermarket Japenese pistons and rotors. If you want good stuff, don't skimp and buy German. Lesson learned.


All in all things are shaping up to be bright day in the Falcon's eye.


Resolute,

-The Falcon