Finally

At long last, the new facility is nearing completion. It's been an awful time trying to conceal construction vehicles entering and exiting the site. Luckily the cloaking device has held up overall. The displaced dirt should come in very handy for the adobe testing coming up in April. I've got a feeling that mud huts may soon be back in vogue due to those tree hugging California greenies. This could be an opportunity to generate some additional income.

The manatee aquarium finally got filled today. My seacows seemed very appreciative of the new home. I can't decide if I should spring for paint or not. The flourescent lighting isn't the best, but I've got a feeling that some color may spruce up the galley area. Overall, the industrial bomb shelter look seems very postmodern and I quite enjoy it. Somewhere I've misplaced my favorite screwdriver, it's phillips head and has a handle that is very ergonomic. The company that made them got busted awhile ago for lead, or recall, or something of that nature so I doubt I'll be able to find another one. I hope it didn't fall into the flux radiator of the robo suit again...


Searching,

-The Falcon

Lab Update

Things are not going well. I had to retro fit the slushie machine in the galley area due to a low hanging cupboard. I hate drywall. I tried to avoid the sheetrock at all costs. It's such an annoying aspect of construction. The dust got everywhere even though I had things covered. It made the filtration system go haywire and nearly caused an emergency engage, almost locking down level three.


Simultaneously this caused for a surge in the electric system to the lab which fried the new brain probes that were plugged in and getting a firmware update. This meant that I had to go to the main level electrical conduit and reset the breaker. I can't wait to get the elevator going. Two of the brain probes are fried beyond repair and I've got to replace the chip sets in several more.


I've got my work cut out for me.

-The Falcon

Lab Update

Czech rotors for the air lock are bad. I need to send them back. Lesson learned, never buy a refurb. I really hope that freighter gets here soon.

Delayed.

-The Falcon

Gasp

For a second I thought I'd been discovered. That blasted GoogleMap SUV drove by and my sensors for the third tier perimeter were temporarily down. Luckily the cloaking device scrambles most electrical readings in a fifty yard radius. It was still too close for comfort. I must stay vigilant. 

I'll admit my head has been jumbled that past couple days during this renovation process. But fear not I will be back to my old self soon enough. This sleep deprived caffiene benge is only a temporary fix. My new state of the art aviarium of science will soon be complete.

Tired

-The Falcon

Proposition #401

While attempting to complete the lab rennovations and install the sound-proofing insulation, I took a break to make a sandwich and watch TV. After channel surfing through static, reality programming, and self-help gurus, I realized a fact about broadcasting... There is nothing to watch. Then a thought occured to me, we need better programming. As my mind perused though various scenarios, I came up with this interesting concept. People like to see destruction.



This brings me to Proposition #401: Zamboni Demo Derby.



Much like a typical county fair demolition derby, the key is destruction. However, unlike most county fairs, there will be modifications. As the nature of the zamboni requires, the event must be held on ice. I supposed for the sake of TV ratings and the FCC it can't be a fight to death. Also if that happened, major league hockey teams wouldn't be able to skate because the nations' best zamboni drivers would be no more. This would probably lead to the rise of marshall law state of ice control in which one great and powerful champion would abuse his position, oppressing other up-and-coming zamboni-ists. Until a vigilante uprising upsets the throne, his terror will reign supreme. ...So to avoid this, it'll just be a show to smash up big ice shaving vehicles.


Hungry for knowledge,


-The Falcon

Lab Update

Followers,


I've been working on updating the laboratory. The Komodo Dragons have begun to out grow their cages do to the prolonged steroid injections. They are quite fiesty nowadays. One of them broke out the other day. I'm pretty sure one them ate Mrs. Wallerby's cats. Actually come to think of it, I haven't seen Mrs. Wellerby lately... Anyway, my lab is in need of renovation. A misfiring pneumatic piston propelled a prototype precariously perched upon a shelf tumbling into on skeletal shell of a robotic arm. This then knocked over the bookshelf, scattering graphic novels everywhere. While cleaning up this mess I also burnt the popcorn I was popping which caused a small electrical fire (the Falcon likes to manually pop his popcorn, listening to the dwindling snaps to insure doneness without burntness) alas, I'm now without a microwave.


In short, I'm in the process of constructing a new facility. It'll have to be underground, doubling as a bomb shelter. If my enemies attack, my amassed knowledge must be secured for you, the followers. For even if my earthly form dwindles, the wingspan of intellect will never fly away.


I will also need a slushie machine. I've tried to make my own but I can never get the mixture right. The flavoring always seems to sink to the bottom and I can never get the ice finely ground. I've destroyed 4 blenders in the quest of my icy indulgences. Curse you ICEE polar bear and your snappy fashion and fruity goodness.


I will soon begin scouting sites for covert construction. Once the cloaking device and cable is hooked up, I will begin construction. Until then, know that I will never tire in the endless quest for knowledge...


Determined,

-The Falcon

Proposition #378

This winter weather has made commuting to work a real pain. I'm so tired of having to de-ice the Falconmobile every morning on my way to work. I guess I could build a garage for my car like most "normal" people. But that's not solving the problem. Most parking lots are still exposed to the elements, and with icy road conditions and motorists moving at snail-like paces, it's a real hassle to commute.

That's why I've devised an alternative to this mundane winter monotony. Behold Proposition #378: Giant Robot.

 Traffic? What traffic? It's a giant robo-suit to commute in. Now I'm not talking about all those Hollywood movies, with giant metal heroes that save the day and fight off the aliens. I'm talking about the awesome factor.

Can you even begin to imagine the amazing things you could do with a giant robot? Okay, first thing in the morning you wake up; you want breakfast. Forget breakfast! You can throw a car 500 yards with your robot arms!

I've comprised a list of some super cool things you could in a giant robot suit:

• Tackle a train, and win with my giant robot suit.
• Shoot lasers out of my giant robot suit.
• Liquidate an elephant in a single stomp in my giant robot suit.
• Sink Hawaii with my giant robot suit.
• Ride Godzilla with my giant robot suit.
• Jump the Grand Canyon in my giant robot suit.
• Co-star next to Shia Lebeouf in my giant robot suit.
• Defy laws of physics in my giant robot suit.
• Fight an alien invasion in my giant robot suit.
• Go to grocery store in my giant robot suit.
• Get eggs in my giant robot suit.
• Get milk in my giant robot suit.
• File taxes in my giant robot suit.
• Call mom in my giant robot suit.
• Feed komodo dragons in my giant robot suit.
 

 

In my giant robot suit. 

-The Falcon