Proposition #459

It occured to me the other day as I sat through another monotonous chicken nugget commercial in attempts to calibrate the satellite uplink to the main monitor that Americans are rather self indulgent when it comes to their diets. Therefore, those who enjoy chicken, or "chicken" as the case may be, pressed into nugget shapes or resembling "fingers," must regularly devote funds to said foods. If one were an intelligent being, harnessing the capitalist system of America, one could, as the kids say, make significant "bank".


Which brings me to Proposition #459: Boneless Chickens.


"Wha.. Boneless Chicken? Falcon, you're a coot." No, it hasn't already been invented. Allow me to explain. Between the coop and the drive-thru there is a significant amount of middlemen. The farmer, the driver, the butcher, the processor, and the distributor and tons of other people who don't need the money. I propose to eliminate the noise by breeding chickens without bones. Rather than having tons of bones discarded, why not breed chickens that have 99% meat. That way you can just kill them and cook them.


I'm not entirely sure about how to produce this race of mush birds, but I feel that tampering with the pituitary gland may yield results. If I can downgrade the chicken to produce rapid amounts of meat, without tumorous overgrowth, it would put an end to the current system of chicken production. Why waste the life of a chicken? There's all that brutality involved and the blood and the guts. I propose breeding a less life chicken, a chicken that has no real feeling but only grows. Only minimal organ function and cellular respiration will be necessary.


These blobular bird ball will be less like butchering chickens and more like harvesting cabbage. Ultimately, it will be a very lucrative business endeavor.


Innovating,

-The Falcon

Beta Testing

Systems check is finally complete. It seems most of the bugs have been worked out of the defense grid. The backup generators are running smoothly, and the software seems to be behaving as of late. The solar panels could still use some revamping as the overall cycling pattern misses about 25% of the sun in the mid-morning, but that's what beta testing is for. 


I found my screwdriver finally. Unfortunately it was sealed behind that blasted piece of drywall I put up earlier. Somehow in the fuss it seems I left it back there. If it hadn't been for the x-ray radiation testing, I would have never known where to look. However, it also means I need some more lead paneling because the rays shouldn't have permeated as far as the galley. But once the facility is fully operational the experiments will begin with more frequency.  

Hopeful


-The Falcon

Build Complete

After an arduous and secretive three weeks, the new lab has finally been completed. The komodo dragons seem to be adapting well to their new cages. Overall, things are on the upswing. The downside is that the underground hangar is a bit smaller than it looked on the initial blueprints, probably meaning that the ex-Soviet helibird will have to go. It's not as practical nowadays (slight rotar damage and pitches to left, check out on eBay if interested). I still have to calibrate the elevator shaft a bit more, the motor is little jerky. Perhaps I'll install a fireman style pole for more efficient travel.


I must say that overall I'm very pleased with the new facility. The secretive underground bunkerlike nature will be ideal for conducting the more involved experiments, while still avoiding the clostrophobic, meerkat nature of my past domicile. I wish the giant pistons would run faster because the hangar doors are sluggish at the moment, meaning an emergency re-entry could be problematic. I'll probably try to soup those bad boys up. That's what I get for ordering aftermarket Japenese pistons and rotors. If you want good stuff, don't skimp and buy German. Lesson learned.


All in all things are shaping up to be bright day in the Falcon's eye.


Resolute,

-The Falcon

Finally

At long last, the new facility is nearing completion. It's been an awful time trying to conceal construction vehicles entering and exiting the site. Luckily the cloaking device has held up overall. The displaced dirt should come in very handy for the adobe testing coming up in April. I've got a feeling that mud huts may soon be back in vogue due to those tree hugging California greenies. This could be an opportunity to generate some additional income.

The manatee aquarium finally got filled today. My seacows seemed very appreciative of the new home. I can't decide if I should spring for paint or not. The flourescent lighting isn't the best, but I've got a feeling that some color may spruce up the galley area. Overall, the industrial bomb shelter look seems very postmodern and I quite enjoy it. Somewhere I've misplaced my favorite screwdriver, it's phillips head and has a handle that is very ergonomic. The company that made them got busted awhile ago for lead, or recall, or something of that nature so I doubt I'll be able to find another one. I hope it didn't fall into the flux radiator of the robo suit again...


Searching,

-The Falcon

Lab Update

Things are not going well. I had to retro fit the slushie machine in the galley area due to a low hanging cupboard. I hate drywall. I tried to avoid the sheetrock at all costs. It's such an annoying aspect of construction. The dust got everywhere even though I had things covered. It made the filtration system go haywire and nearly caused an emergency engage, almost locking down level three.


Simultaneously this caused for a surge in the electric system to the lab which fried the new brain probes that were plugged in and getting a firmware update. This meant that I had to go to the main level electrical conduit and reset the breaker. I can't wait to get the elevator going. Two of the brain probes are fried beyond repair and I've got to replace the chip sets in several more.


I've got my work cut out for me.

-The Falcon

Lab Update

Czech rotors for the air lock are bad. I need to send them back. Lesson learned, never buy a refurb. I really hope that freighter gets here soon.

Delayed.

-The Falcon

Gasp

For a second I thought I'd been discovered. That blasted GoogleMap SUV drove by and my sensors for the third tier perimeter were temporarily down. Luckily the cloaking device scrambles most electrical readings in a fifty yard radius. It was still too close for comfort. I must stay vigilant. 

I'll admit my head has been jumbled that past couple days during this renovation process. But fear not I will be back to my old self soon enough. This sleep deprived caffiene benge is only a temporary fix. My new state of the art aviarium of science will soon be complete.

Tired

-The Falcon